Saturday, December 13, 2014

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The Pressure Before A Big Test

pressure before tests

So I can't compare the PhilIT GC Exam to the big board exams or licensure exams other graduates have to take to get to the professional world but the struggle I think is the same.

Basically, passing this exam means that you have adequate knowledge in the field of IT and are a certified IT professional. They have you listed and when companies are hiring, passers are prioritized. you get this fancy certificate and etc etc.

I'm not only exclusively sharing the experience of this quiz alone but also with other exams I had to take in my lifetime. It's just in this one that I've finally noticed it.

The coverage of this test would be all our lessons from our first year to our last so naturally one would want to review a bit, just in case. Even if you're not normally that studious but still care enough to at least try, flipping through a few pages of the reviewer would probably ease the tension.

The fact though that everyone around me were like: 

"Oh, Ashley will pass, I'm sure."
"Only her name will be up in the passers list haha."
"Why are you studying? You're already smart! You're gonna pass."

They were either intentionally or unintentionally building up everybody else's expectation of me being one of the passers. And that gradually scared me. What if I don't pass? What if I don't reach the expectation you set for me?

For sure I would be ridiculed, although not as extravagantly but a few shots to the ego would probably be fired. It might not be that big of a deal, but the implication that everyone around you is expecting you to do the thing successfully, egging you on to actually doing it because they're expecting it of you, not only adds up to the pressure you put on yourself but also to your desire to live up to their expectations.

Pride, I think, is hotwired into our system and we just can't help but at least try and do our best to meet these expectations, even though, sometimes, we just can't do it. 

Some good comes out of these implications sometimes, though. I got to study and actually take the review to heart because of all the set expectations. I passed the test because of it but the pressure I felt that gradually grew as the test got closer was incredibly uncomfortable.

pressure before tests
The passers and soon-to-be passers

I just can't imagine what students with an even tougher peer group and stricter family would have felt in their tests. No wonder some kids don't even try to reach their potential because of the fear of heightened expectations. No wonder there are reports of students committing suicide because of the pressure put on them.

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